most exorbitant music videos ever

literally, and figuratively.

it’s been almost a month since our last installment, but we’re back for more critical analysis of the ever-vanishing excessive music video.

as the music industry dies a slow and painful (and public) death, more and more musical “accoutrements” find themselves in decline. Tour support shrinks, marketing schemes go “grassroots”, and the most expendable musical adornment, the music video, either disappears completely, or has such a microscopic budget that it’s pawned off to a friend to do for free.

but looking back a mere 10 years, the music industry was in boom-times. billboards promoting records littered American streets, lavish cross country gallivanting, showered in champagne and caviar packed auditoriums and welcomed artists as they came into town, and turned the other cheek when they absconded with wives and girlfriends in their luxurious tour buses. and music videos? never bigger. As mentioned here, Michael Jackson’s 1996 video for “scream”, which cost $7MM, included $3000/day for Michael’s makeup alone. Most artists nowadays want videos that cost $3,000 total.

But, the dead horse has been beaten, today’s subject, one of the kings of boom-time’s past, Percy Miller. Otherwise known as Master P.

In his epically gaudy spectacle, “Make ‘Em Say Ugh”, P. brings us to a magical basketball game on a court made of gold. Strangely, all of the athletes wear different colored jerseys, which I’m sure creates some confusion as to who is on who’s team. Percy arrives abruptly, in a gold-plated tank no less, and proceeds to rap, pick-and-roll, and fire gigantic bullets into not only the crowd, but our hearts and minds.

Throughout the video, the court explodes, literally, is met with a barage of flashing lights (which surely didn’t help the players involved in the game) and is cheered on by a rawkous fan base (including one shaquile o’neal.)

P. and his cast of characters spit unintelligable raps, and look ridiculous in shorts and beanies. A relative judgment, as 3/4ths of the way through, they’re all put to shame by a dread’ed Mystikal (or is that Da Brat?) who appears, sitting on top of the basket, shorts riding a little too high. (I hope he and his team incurred a technical foul for this brazen act.)

P., had perhaps conceived this music video as a sort of demo-tape for the NBA to showcase his basketball acumen, and even went on to brief and unmemorable stints as a professional baller (in 1998 with the Charlotte Hornets, and 1999 with the Toronto Raptors) but his career was cut short, presumably due to the gold-plated tank he rolled in on at the start of every game. Sorry P. Not a good look.

Maybe it’s actually better now that there’s less money around for videos?

getting away from the previous, borderline ironic videos covered in past ‘most exorbitant music videos ever’s’, this week we’ll look at the video for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’s “Ain’t No Easy Way” from their 2005 release, Howl.

The video, by Brian Jonestown Massacre bassist, turned photographer, turned filmmaker, Charles Mehling, is exorbitant not in it’s naughty decadence, but it’s cinematic prowess, and almost overpowering sexiness.

Taking a lead from Liliana Cavani’s 1974 unexpectedly erotic, “The Night Porter”, Mehling crafts a series of the most photogenic and titillating vignettes you’ll see in the entire genre.

From a Nazi bachelor party, to a satanic ritual, heavy petting in an opium den, and tandem bathing, all tied together with an effortlessly cool performance by the band, Mehing creates the party you always hope you’re showing up to, (less the nazi’s of course) with a steady hand and a distinctive camera.

Watching the video frame-by-frame, Mehling’s past as a photographer is apparent. Nearly every frame is publishable.

keep your scantily clad backup dancers, and suggestive dance moves. this shot out sexes all of those cliches.

WALLPAPER!

several shots are not safe for work, but I assure you, well worth the slap on the wrist.

“Ain’t No Easy Way” Directed by Charles Mehling.

so we’ve seen the most expensive, and the most unique way to swagger, but this week, we’re going to take a look at another new-twist-old-classic story in Jermaine Dupri and Jay-Z’s “Money Ain’t A Thang”

Here, again, we have the tried and true, or rather, tired and stereotypical, displays of bikini-clad women, fancy cars and ostentatious vaunts of stacks of cash. (do they think anyone doesn’t realize that it’s prop money?)

But the video’s saving grace is in Jermaine Dupri’s use of the Brechtian Alienation device, perhaps his ode to Felini’s 8 1/2, as he describes to Jay-Z how he’s going to direct the video, for the video we’re already watching. (has your head exploded yet?)

Who knew that JD was an existentialist? And staying with Brecht, the result truly is epic theater.

In JD’s imagined video, he and a buxom babe take part in the true subject of this weeks installment, the standard-rap-video-car-race-paradigm-spinner, a HORSE RACE.

Jay and JD bet 100k on a horse race, and although the dialogue exchange doesn’t necessarily make clear who is betting for whom, Jay seems dejected when JD wins. After all, it is his video.

Sadly, the horses are quickly exchanged for high powered sports cars for the better part of the video, but the use of something long associated with an upper echelon of society used here was a brilliant and unique way to flaunt the same financial virility they would have, and ultimately do, through standard rap video cliches.

last week i talked about one of the most expensive music videos ever, diddy’s $2.7 million dollar, “Victory.”

now while exorbitant’s dictionary definition is in reference to a monetary expense, Jay-Z’s “Blue Magic” goes to show that you don’t need to spend a lot to show off.

directed by hip-hop video legend, Hype Williams, long gone is the fish-eye lens, and goofy costumes, and here we engage in the typical fancy car braggadocio and sneering, sunglass-at-night-wearing machismo found in most hip-hop music videos.

but most noticeable is jay and hype’s new take on the old hip-hop video conceit; the stack of cash.

it’s incredibly tired, it’s been done to death. stacks of hundred’s, raining bills, buckets of bills, every-which-way but interesting.

whoever coined; “you don’t have to re-invent the wheel” was lazy and boring.

now while “Blue Magic” doesn’t contend to change much, it’s this small notion in which jay and hype spin the paradigm completely…

…by substituting the weak and over-used American dollar, for the strong and higher denomination EURO.

it ultimately only represents a few seconds of the video, but is the only image to be remembered at all. and while I’m sure the EU never imagined that their money would assist in upping one’s swagger, it’s worth more than it’s weight here:

No embedding!? Go here!

with the proliferation of youtube, itunes and vimeo, the promotional paradigm has shifted, and music videos have no where near the prestige they once did.

music videos have gone from an integral part of a records release, to a low budget after thought, usually helmed by the artist’s friend for little to no money. i can’t even begin to tell you how many video projects I’ve lost to someone volunteering a freebie.

but, looking back at music video’s hey-day, its amazing to see how exorbitant some of them were. i’ll recant a few over the next few weeks, but i figure there’s no better place to start than with the king of decadence, puffy, puff daddy, p. diddy, diddy.

directed by Marcus Nispel, the video boasted a budget of $2.7MM, (it was the most expensive video of it’s time, only to be dethroned by Mark Romanek’s “Scream” for Michael and Janet Jackson, which came with a staggering $7MM price tag. (Michael’s makeup cost $3,000/day))

“Victory” is an eight minute long epic, co-starring Danny Devito and Dennis Hopper, while strangely (for a rap video) tipping a hat to the 1987 Schwarzenegger vehicle, The Running Man.